Comment 77147

By Mahesh_P_Butani (registered) - website | Posted May 21, 2012 at 13:47:02

Thank to all here for continuing this conversation!

"Perhaps the best way to approach this is to help those of differing ideologies to look at the broader issues from other points of view, acknowledge the varying perspectives, find common ground, and discuss solutions from there?" ~ ScreamingViking

Couldn't have been said any better!

(A) In finding common grounds, we first need to understand how trust works and how to build it.

"Trust means enabling other people to take advantage of your vulnerabilities—but expecting that they will not do this."

"The deep requirement for economic progress is the development of trust among people... increase in trust among people would lead to an increase in the economy's wealth."

(B) Trust then has to be coupled with the art of persuasion. "Much of persuasion and other forms of changing minds is based on a relatively small number of principles."

"How we change what others think, feel, believe and do":

  • Alignment: When everything lines up, there are no contradictions to cause disagreement
  • Amplification: Make the important bits bigger and other bits smaller.
  • Appeal: If asked nicely, we will follow the rules we have made for ourselves.
  • Arousal: When I am aroused I am full engaged and hence more likely to pay attention.
  • Association: Our thoughts are connected. Think one thing and the next is automatic.
  • Assumption: Acting as if something is true often makes it true.
  • Attention: Make sure they are listening before you try to sell them something.
  • Authority: Use your authority and others will obey.
  • Bonding: I will usually do what my friends ask of me, without negotiation.
  • Closure: Close the door of thinking and the deal is done.
  • Completion: We need to complete that which is started.
  • Confidence: If I am confident, then you can be confident.
  • Confusion: A drowning person will clutch at a straw. So will a confused one.
  • Consistency: We like to maintain consistency between what we think, say and do.
  • Contrast: We notice and decide by difference between two things, not absolute measures.
  • Daring: If you dare me to do something, I daren't not do it.
  • Deception: Convincing by trickery.
  • Dependence: If you are dependent on me, I can use this as a lever to persuade you.
  • Distraction: If I distract your attention, I can then slip around your guard.
  • Evidence: I cannot deny what I see with my own eyes.
  • Exchange: if I do something for you, then you are obliged to do something for me.
  • Experience: I cannot deny what I experience for myself.
  • Fragmentation: Break up the problem into agreeable parts.
  • Framing: Meaning depends on context. So control the context.
  • Harmony: Go with the flow to build trust and create subtle shifts.
  • Hurt and Rescue: Make them uncomfortable then throw them a rope.
  • Interest: If I am interested then I will pay attention.
  • Interruption: Break the flow.
  • Investment: If I have invested in something, I do not want to waste that investment.
  • Involvement: Action leads to commitment.
  • Logic: What makes sense must be true.
  • Objectivity: Standing back decreases emotion and increases logic.
  • Obligation: Creating a duty that must be discharged.
  • Ownership: I am committed to that which I own.
  • Passion: Enthusiasm is catching.
  • Perception: Perception is reality. So manage it.
  • Persistence: In all things, persistence pays.
  • Positivity: Use positive methods.
  • Pull: Create attraction that pulls people in.
  • Push: I give you no option but to obey.
  • Repetition: If something happens often enough, I will eventually be persuaded.
  • Scarcity: I want now what I may not be able to get in the future.
  • Similarity: We trust people who are like us or who are similar to people we like.
  • Simplicity: Simple means easy to understand and agree.
  • Social Compliance: The pressure to conform.
  • Social Proof: When uncertain we take cues other people.
  • Specificity: People fill in the gaps in vague statements.
  • Substitution: Put them into the story.
  • Surprise: When what happens is not what I expect, I must rethink my understanding.
  • Tension: I will act to reduce the tension gaps I feel.
  • Threat: If my deep needs are threatened, I will act to protect them.
  • Trust: If I trust you, I will accept your truth and expose my vulnerabilities.
  • Uncertainty: When I am not sure, I will seek to become more certain.
  • Understanding: If I understand you, then I can interact more accurately with you.
  • Unthinking: Go by the subconscious route.

Mahesh P. Butani

Comment edited by Mahesh_P_Butani on 2012-05-21 13:48:50

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