Entertainment and Sports

All I Want for Christmas, 2020

I want my heart to keep ticking, my legs to keep kicking, and my heels to keep clicking.

By Kevin Somers
Published December 21, 2020

My two front teeth, my two front teeth, my two front teeth are suitable. I want for nothing, really, but I want, want, want, anyway, as is my wont. Here's All I Want for Christmas, 2020.

I want 2021 to be a better year.

I want my mother and mother-in-law to bounce back. My daughters are blessed with two hardy, hilarious, legendary grandmothers.

I want time to slow down. My girls are adults.

I want covid and Trump to disappear.

I want Old Man Floor Hockey (OMFH) and The Writers' Unit to reappear.

I want to see a Fred Eaglesmith or Nick Wallace show, with my kids, again.

I want a new luffa brush.

I want a cure for Histiocytosis, a horrible, rare disease afflicting my niece. I want to praise the medical community for miracles. I want all children to be healthy and happy.

We've downsized, and for the second time, our new (old) home is encased in concrete. What the Hell, old man? It's a good opportunity for fitness, however. I bought a 16 lb sledge hammer for the concrete, and bolt cutters for the mesh, and am going to town.

I want to replace the bleak, moribund horror show with a jungle again. When I die, I want to be buried there. I want to be compost.

I want to use the busted concrete and Gabion cages to build a retaining wall and raw architectural features. I plan on ordering the cages from Gabion Canada. I want to support local businesses.

I want people to think twice before pouring concrete, the most overused / destructive material I can think of.

Many people I see using Hamilton's shared bike program in the north end are new Canadians, which is something I want pale, preposterously privileged, progress prohibiting, petroleum-pollution promoting, pushy, preachy, preening, pedantic, pavement peddling political premadonnas to ponder.

I want to awesomely alliterate always.

I want Hamilton to be the best place to raise any child.

I want to wish Mr. P. success, in his new position, and Mrs. Pinkney a joyful retirement.

Squirrely though they may be, I love squirrels. When I die, I want to come back as one and have nutty adventures with my brodents.

Action Entertainment

Across a thin wire
Then round a tree
One's in pursuit
One tries to flee

He cuts to the left
Then to the right
But the aggressor still follows
The one that's in flight

Back up a tree
Across a long fence
This racing rivalry
Is really intense

It's pure entertainment
A wonderful sight
There's nothing quite like
A good squirrel fight

I want my car to start. I want my computer and furnace to work.

I want my heart to keep ticking, my legs to keep kicking, and my heels to keep clicking. I want to watch TV, because I love channel flicking.

I want to rhyme.

I want someone to do something about the cost of housing in Hamilton. It's outrageous.

I want to curb some habits. I want to develop others.

I want to win a lottery, which is tricky, when you don't buy tickets.

I want to buy my family roller skates, and hang out at Pier 8.

Sometimes, I want to save the world. Most of the time, however, I want to lie on the couch, in track pants, comfy clothes, leisure wear, or quitters and save energy.

I want to write a poem called I Want.

I Want

I want to be famous
I want to be rich
I want to be idle
I want perfect pitch

I want a place in the countryside
I want a horse farm 2 miles wide
I want to be handsome and hazel eyed
I want to be purified, glorified, and beatified

I want servants at my beck and call
I want my very own shopping mall
I want to be ripped and I want to be tall
I dare say, I want it all

I want, I want, I want
Write this down in your biggest font
Like a spoiled debutante
I want, I want, I want

I want a beach house upon the shore
I want Candy and her store
I want everything, heretofore
I want it all then I want more

I want to be venerated, celebrated, cheered
I want to be worshipped, admired; completely revered
I want to be internationally known
But, really, I want to be left alone

I want, I want, I want
Write this down in your biggest font
Like a spoiled, rotten debutante
I want, I want, I want

I did it!

I'm not the only one with wanton wants. Want this; I Want in song lyrics: I want you to want me. I want to hold your hand. I want to break free. I want to run. I want to hide. I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside. I want to feel sunlight on my face. I want the one I can't have. I want a new drug. I want a lover, who won't drive me crazy. All I want for Christmas is you. I want, I want, I want, to be loved by you. You're the one that I want. I want to be strong. I want to laugh along. I want to belong to the living. I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. I want to feel what love is. I want you to know, I want you to know, right now. The best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and bees; I want money, that's what I want. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas, from the bottom of my heart. Feliz Navidad.

Feliz Navidad, indeed.

What else could I want?

I want this piece to be precisely 1000 words. Currently, it's 993.

That's All I Want for Christmas, 2020.

Kevin Somers is a Hamilton writer.

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By Ryan (registered) | Posted December 21, 2020 at 14:19:12

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