Raise the Hammer

Okay John. So I am going through a divorce. Been a long almost 2 years now of living together separated. I'd do it again to see my kids every day. Tough situation. A lot of hatred and finger pointing and blame and being stuck in the past.

I have read so much about Family Law, a father's right and place in the family unit, and have talked to so many other divorced couples learning how they deal with these situations. I've talked to lawyers and mediators and duty council and advice has been coming out of the wood work from family and friends and coworkers and strangers who are regulars to the family court house on Main Street. It's been both disheartening, humbling, saddening, and encouraging. Divorcees really support one another - especially other fathers or mothers who realize the importance of a father in a child's life.

The moment I finally moved on from blame and denial and anger and self-pitty, is the moment I realized the lesson in all of it because there is a lesson in everything and that lesson can't be learned, from dwelling on the past. It comes the moment you decide to move on and determine how you can teach and help others going forward, to help them avoid making some of the same mistakes from lessons you learned in life.

I truly believe I will help a lot of father's going forward. It's what I need to take out of this. It's what has helped me see and accept and even embrace, this lesson.

How about we create a really indepth and creative documentary about all of this under the HBS umbrella. We can't complete it until after opening day, but maybe if we can work on this project with the promise that when it's complete, when the story has been told in all it's detail, we will move on and embrace the lessons. Hopefully in the end, we'll be able to look at something beautiful we have created in Ward 3, with the same ability to look at the Harbor and how it has either developed, or a concrete and work in progress plan for it to live up to it's glorious 'meant to be' reality.

We all got taken for fools. My wife and I likely both believe we both got taken for fools too, but we can either look at in this way or realize that some things simply aren't a good fit. Some things weren't meant to be.

In the end we have two beautiful daughters together. They are our world. I believe in the end, no matter how we got there, our family will be happy and thrive well under two separate households, just like I believe Ward 3 and 2 will have drastically been changed for the better because of the steps they have both had to take to get to their end results.

That's what I chose to believe. That is how I chose, to look into the future.

Comment edited by lawrence on 2012-04-25 11:56:31