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By The Finger (anonymous) | Posted October 15, 2010 at 16:55:14
This site is priceless ! Yeah let's get Ryan or any other RAZE the Hammer nutter to try and run for office. You'll quickly note how much this city wants to bike to work, carefully balancing a Starbuck's coffee in one hand (their unsold paintings in the other), to the grid-lock at Wilson & James. You'll have lots of people looking at them (because nobody will be moving), but I don't think you'll have many buyers because cities don't fair too well when their only industries are minimum wage Starbucks and trying to sell ART !
But, OH DO I WISH one of you birds would try. It would be PRICELESS ! You'll finally get the wake-up call you SO deserve ! If RAZE the Hammer doesn't want to put forth a candidate, how about Hamiltonians AGAINST Progressive Development spewing-off with Desnoyer as their man ?! Think of it-all the bike lanes one could dream of (hell, turn almost every street downtown into a mixed pedestrian/bicycle/art crawl situation), all the expensive,$hi++y coffee one could desire and ENDLESS ART !! I mean the world revolves around it right ? All REAL employment will have been driven away so Hamilton will go down in history as the legendary art-producing, Starbucks-swigging town of all-time !! Hell, we'll even deliver your art on BICYCLE for you, seeing as all other forms of transportation will have gone the way of the Dodo. We could start up a bicycle-truck manufacturing plant- perhaps bicycle-planes, bicycle-trains, bicycle-ships, too !!
It would be a real paradise downtown as well, what with all the 100+ year-old derelict buildings getting transformed into homeless shelters for all the recently displaced suburbanites. Of course all THAT land will be turned back into pristeen farmland as far as the eye can see ! That might be a little distressing for Mr. Desnoyer, his relative Maurice and his long-time chum Mr.Santa-Barbara, as they ALL have invaded pristeen farmland for the right every rich person has to their own private paradise. Now they stick-out like sore thumbs in their little rural/suburban dreamland, driving their SUV's to work in Burlington !
Another great project would be that single LRT line that costs hundreds of millions of dollars, running from west to east in our wonderful new downtown. After draining both provincial and municipal governments of available money, it sure will stand-out as a bargoon for this town ! Think of how it will transform our city core, just like the bicycle did, opening up a whole new spate of Ma&Pa stores, Art shops, Starbucks,etc. Who knows-maybe some high-tech industries will locate down here too, because they're so clean and green ! I can visualize the unemployed masses coming out of their little holes downtown, hopping on the LRT to go to Mac to become a rocket scientist or brain-surgeon, because that's what you do, right ? Desnoyer/McGreal will undoubtedly pass a law to the effect that EVERYBODY HAS TO GET A DEGREE at college or university or you will have your sorry a$$ shipped out of Hamilton (on a bike !). We KNOW everyone aspires to become an urban planner, a green-business executive (high-tech no-less), conservationalist-lawyer, environmental engineer,etc. (at the very least it'll behoove-you to do ANYTHING to get out of here !!).
There's just NO reason to have blue-collar work in this city anymore, it's too dirty & stinky and we don't like the ignorant folk who perform these trivial tasks. What do they do anyway that benefits us in any way ? We don't use steel for anything, we don't ship ANYTHING anywhere. Hamilton is an isolated, sleepy bedroom community where the REAL people bike to their art jobs or SUV to their high-tech jobs in Burlington ! Hamilton has nothing to offer the province other than Art, some bike trails and a single LRT line !! We're busy trying to be Toronto's gay little brother, so leave us alone with your blue-collar trash. Besides, it's not as if we're located at the centre of anything, like-say, the Golden Horseshoe !
So a vibrant arts community, loaded with biking opportunities, a single LRT line, tons of ma & pa stores, Starbuck's, green high-tech light industry, millions of hectares of farmland all producing food for the local community, grid-lock, no suburbs, no residences in rural/suburban areas (except for the aforementioned Desnoyer families/Santa-Barbara families), no industry there or anywhere else unless it's located on northend brownfield sites (because that's the only place you put ANY kind of industry no matter it's particular needs (just like Mikey Desnoyer's company Etratech...ooops-he's NOT THERE, but in Burlington-we'll just ignore THAT little bomb !), EVERY building in Hamilton that is 50 years old or more HAS to be preserved and turned into condos or another homeless shelter (I guess you're gonna need-'em !),or into museums or something (because people from ALL over just can't wait to tour derelict buildings), no airport (will be turned into Mikey's backyard !), and of course EVERYONE HAS TO HAVE A DEGREE !!
Oh, I have a tear in my eye !!
3...2...1... Let the negative voting commence !
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