Entertainment and Sports


Sometimes, a collection of anecdotes is more than the sum of its parts.

By Kevin Somers
Published February 14, 2008

Some days, I'm overwhelmed by technology, but I'm grateful for it constantly.

Some days, I'm overwhelmed with life, but get through it, somehow. The pace is fearsome right now, but I keep reminding myself it's going to slow down, again, someday. Sometimes, that's somewhat hard to believe.

Someone broke my wife's car's window recently. Although her wife-skills could use some improvement, she's a hard-working, wholesome woman and she's some mom - totally awesome. She doesn't deserve that. Sometimes, I wish I had an attack monkey.

Sometimes, not. But, sometimes.

Some people are so talented, it's something to behold. Sometimes, when I read E.B. White, I get the sinking feeling I should never pick up a pen again and should spend my free time doing something else, like math.

Math can be complicated, but finding simple sums is sometimes fun.

Like my mother, I'm absent-minded and constantly misplace glasses, keys, wallet, kids, papers, gloves, etc. I'm convinced it's a disability because Kay and I spend an inordinate amount of time scuttling around mumbling, "It's around here somewhere."

If someone with enough clout suffers from the same troublesome affliction, perhaps they could do something for us. A little sum from some branch of Big Brother every month would be nice. Somehow, I can't see it, but it's nice to dream, sometimes.

My new favourite thing is the UFC. Ultimate fighting is something else. Some people hate it, which is fine, but some people like to fight and they're good at, so let'em go. The popularity of the sport is exploding globally, so they're onto something.

Sometimes, I think if I could live my life over, I'd dedicate myself to competing in the sport. Three seconds with BJ Penn would certainly change that, however, and I'd end up doing something less gruesome. A punch in the puss, pancreas, or prostate would be wretched. And then some.

Some people like fighting, but they'd never step into the octagon or engage in a fair battle. Even if they ?win,? it's not something to be proud of.

Some quotes are worth pinning to the wall.

I'm not exactly certain what irony is, but sometimes I think my new club is an example. I'm a proud member of the recently formed Independent Authors & Illustrators of Canada; we're a group of independents. I generally don't like being part of a club that would have me as a member, but there are always exceptions, sometimes.

Sometimes, it's nice not fitting in. Sometimes, it is.

Some people leave something to be desired. We adopted a dog from the SPCA in Hamilton recently and she's terrified of men. She runs and shakes and cowers when one comes near her. We'll never know, of course, but we're pretty sure some loathsome loser did some mean things to the blithesome, delightsome dog.

It's tiresome to think of all the cruelty perpetuated by people. The meat industry can be something beyond sinister. The callousness that our society tolerates for cheap burgers and wings is certainly worrisome.

Being a Leaf's fan is wearisome. Richard Petty is a meddlesome, micro-manager running the team into the ground. I think about cheering for some other team, sometimes.

Somehow, I can't. Go, Leafs. Go.

According to my dictionary, "Somewhen" is a colloquialism somewhere and it means "at some time." Some facts are useless, but interesting, somewhat.

Some kids love turning somersaults.

If you're looking for someplace to eat and drink in Hamilton, there are some nice spots on Locke St. Some Sundays, my neighbour and I play old-man floor hockey, then hit The West Town for Beer, eggs, newspapers, and TVs playing sports. Life is grand, sometimes.

Some random quotes, lyrics, and thoughts: There's someone for everyone. Some girls are bigger than others / Some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers. Some days are better than others. Somewhere over the rainbow. Someone saved my life tonight. You've got to stand for something or you're going to fall for anything. Let's get drunk and be somebody. Someday, we'll be together. Handsome is as handsome does. Everybody needs somebody sometimes. There's always something there to remind me. I want somebody to love. I need somebody to love. I want somebody to love. Last night, I dreamt somebody loved me. Someone, somewhere in summertime. If you love somebody, set them free. If it's god's will, I'll see you again, sometime. You can't please everyone, just some. Some is all you need. All you need is some.

Kevin Somers is a Hamilton writer.


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By huey420 (anonymous) | Posted February 20, 2008 at 15:47:56

As usual, a treat to read this fine author.

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By kevin (registered) | Posted February 20, 2008 at 23:13:53

Thanks, Huey.

You made my day. Most commenters simply sling crap.


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