Why 50? And Other Fifties

By Kevin Somers
Published March 22, 2010

Why Fifty?

For one year, I've been writing fifty-word pieces. I had considered myself the king of concision. Then, I read Kevin Barber's The Century, which is exactly 100 words. This was on my mind when friend and wordsmith, Fred Eaglesmith, told me I go on too much. The rest is Fifty.


I like hockey. I like playing, watching, talking, reading, and thinking hockey. I like hockey fights, hair, and humour. I like road, table, field and air hockey. I still play floor hockey regularly. No one wears a helmet, about half use eye protection. Everyone wears a cup. I love hockey.

If I Were a Boy Today

Experts would say, "He's ADD, OCD, ADHD..."
"He's a freaking monkey in a tree"
"He destined for a killing spree"

"He can't sit still"
"Prescribe another pill"
"There's a spark in there that we must kill"

There'd be white-collar thugs
Preaching kisses, prescribing hugs
And pushing piles of white-collar drugs

Karma and The Corporate Psychopath

Breaking spirits, cutting throats
Spreading lies, taking notes
Entirely without remorse
Everyday, he stayed the course

He got his castle and his throne
But sat up there all alone
And when they threw him in the ground
No one came and stood around
To mourn or cry or say, Good-bye

My Psychic

She has guided my investments
As well as my private life
She told me whom to trust
And she helped me pick my wife

But now my psychic is out of business
And it's rather unbecoming
Because between her tears she sobbed and said:
I did not see this coming

Writing For Dummies

Strunk and White were emphatic that vigorous writing has to be concise and devoid of unnecessary words, so all writers are encouraged to edit effectively.

Strunk and White were emphatic that vigorous editing is critical to good writing.

Editing is critical to good writing.

Editing is critical.

Edit, dummy.


Kevin Somers is a Hamilton writer.

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By rrrandy (registered) - website | Posted March 22, 2010 at 17:56:29

LOL - full marks for this (out of 50)

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