Raise the Hammer

I couldn't agree more with you, Michelle - wisdom and experience, by definition, is what you lack when you're young. And exactly what parents (and the larger community, often) is there for. The disconnect between age groups in our culture is scary... and certainly unprecedented.

Raising Boys Without Men by Drexler and Gross is an interesting read. The title's a bit of a misnomer (intentional male role models are sought out by most of these women) but it has a lot of interesting case studies and varied situations in it - though it's anecdotal, I enjoyed it.

I'd take it with real research like Wallerstein's Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. But in a world where many parenting situations are the reality, it's not acceptable or compassionate to say "this is the foregone conclusion and your future is set in stone" - especially when many young people do turn out very well - from the young caregiver phenomenon to my own anecdotal experience with family and friends. (.

The "young caregiver" phenomenon alone (kids who step up to care for parents/siblings) and my husband's own experience as a child of divorce certainly reassure me that many who come out of divorce do well - not without scars, but no one is without scars from something.

Parenting is one side of expectations, and unquestionably the most important and influential. I don't speak from that side - yet.

However, there's huge cultural forces and questions also at play, and our institutions - from parenting to religion to education to government - can often reflect current theories and attitudes (after all, we have made huge advances in most areas) rather than critical thinkers with a wide historical perspective.

I suppose Facebook - and its use - is simply reflecting current attitudes about privacy. I wonder where we'll be in ten more years. :)