Entertainment and Sports

I Think

Even if he's is wrong, Kevin Somers is glad he lives in Canada, where (he thinks) he can still say what he thinks.

By Kevin Somers
Published November 26, 2010

I think. I think all the time; everyone does. Achievement is the fruition of thinking. Believing, conniving, considering, contemplating, deliberating, dreaming, fantasizing, hatching, imagining, learning, planning, plotting, questioning, reasoning, reflecting, remembering, wishing, wondering... are variations of thinking.

I think John McCain wasn't thinking right when he picked Sarah Palin. I think Palin is a mean-spirited, shallow-thinking bully. She seems self-absorbed and self-satisfied, however. I think "Run Sarah Run" signs are a sign of the times. I think Palin would make a tragically appropriate president.

In her latest book, America By Heart, Palin slams "American Idol," claiming the show is fraught with "talent-deprived contestants who suffer from the cult of self-esteem. No one they have encountered in their lives - from their parents to their teachers to their president - wanted them to feel bad by hearing the truth, so they grew up convinced that they could become big pop stars like Michael Jackson." Or big presidents like George Bush, evidently.

On the day I read Sarah's book excerpts, there was an article about a man, enraged by Bristol Palin's success on "Dancing With the Stars," shooting his television. Another mailed Bristol talcum powder.

Bristol, of course, is Sarah's daughter. Despite being cantankerous, contentious, clumsy, and clunky, Bristol succeeded on "Dancing" because armies of conservatives, who think Sarah is divine, voted for her.

I think America is doomed.

The same day, I read the venom the Palin sisters, Bristol and Pistol, famously posted on the Internet. The daughters of a political "Christian" superstar spew intolerant hatred on Facebook.

I think The Palins deserve the White House and vice versa. I think TLC, the network airing a Sarah Palin series, should install cameras in her house, so we can watch Big Sister 24 - 7: Orwell meets Springer.

I don't think The Learning Channel cares what it teaches. I think TLC hit a new low with their new hit, Sister Wives, a show about a creepy, cocky, misogynistic mouthpiece and his four fretting, tittering, timid, woebegone wives. I thought polygamy was illegal (for a reason). I think one wife is two too many.

I think TSN's profile on Hamilton Tiger Cats', Dave Stalla was humbling. When Dave's father, who left his wife and boys in Poland to find work abroad, started crying at the recollection, I think I did, too. I can't think of anything worse than leaving my children for a prolonged, indefinite time. My hat is off and my heart goes out to those who do.

I think immigrants, migrant workers, and road warriors are spectacular. I think we are fortunate for opportunities in Canada, but I don't think it's sufficiently appreciated.

I don't think the good times are going to last. I think we're due for a correction, recession, or depression.

I think a lot of countries are going to want our water. I've seen how aggressively the West goes after others' oil, which is a frivolity. I can't think what will happen when billions of people are desperate for life-sustaining water.

I think Canadians should start arming ourselves and carrying guns everywhere. Would you feel safe? I think it's ridiculous to suggest you would. I think guns should be banned.

I think I'm blessed to live in gun-free Hamilton and have two hilarious, polite, wonderful girls. I think I'm a great dad, but an average husband. My wife has a long list of chronic complaints, but I don't think I'll change: this is how God made me. Besides, I don't think there's a need. I think all my problems are in her head. I think I'm fantastic.

I think everyone should love them self. Dreaming of being someone else is a waste of thinking. Think well of yourself. I think that's a lot harder for boys, these days. I think the emasculation, feminization, medication, and vilification of boys is killing them.

I think the pendulum has swung too far and society, too often, tolerates female bullying. I know women who boast of terrifying their husbands. How do boys stand a chance? Bullying is bullying. I know that. I don't have to think about it.

Female bullying is a marketing tool. There's a long-running TV commercial for Multi-Grain Cheerio's, wherein a man asks his wife if she's trying to lose weight. She turns on him and he rapidly becomes a shivering, quivering, quaking, shaking mess, who tells himself to "shut up" to make it stop. The scene ends with a close up of her sickly smirk. I think if the roles were reversed, some people would freak out.

I think a small percentage of society think males are getting what they deserve. I think some of those relish the opportunity to strike back with impunity. I think I know why boys are failing in school. I think about it all the time. I think boys are often expected to act, learn, and think like girls as men are supposed to act, teach, and think like women.

I think many tax-paying parents would be saddened if they knew more about "public education." I think billions - earmarked for children - are misspent or siphoned off by armies of adults, who never see a child.

For example, I think if everyone in education stopped printing glossy, elaborate brochures, documents, magazines, newsletters, pamphlets, posters..., they would save millions. I think it should all go on-line.

I think every class, from kindergarten to grade 12, should have a twenty-student cap and an Educational Assistant. The results would be remarkable. I think there's enough money in the system to afford it.

I think public schools should be democratic.

I think a think tank and well-fed, baby-booming revolutionaries, who lack common sense, have inflicted irreparable damage on public education, but I try not to think about it. I think it's killing me.

Even if I'm wrong, I'm glad I live in Canada, where I can still say what I think. I think.

Thinking Poem

I think about life
I think about death
I think what I'll think about
With my last breath

I think about love
I think about hate
I think about fortune
I think about fate

I think I am happy
I think I am good
I think I am helpful
And live life as I should

I think about Heaven
I think about Hell
I think about always
And where I will dwell

I think about thinking
I think all the time
I think about writing
I think it's sublime

I think I think deeply
About why I am here
I think of my purpose
And I think it's quite clear

I think life is holy
I think that it's grand
I think I touch God
When I'm nicely tanned

Kevin Somers is a Hamilton writer.

5 Comments

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By LoveIt (anonymous) | Posted November 26, 2010 at 08:21:44

Great piece. I think!

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By -Hammer- (registered) | Posted November 26, 2010 at 11:47:14

I think I agree with the Sarah Palin comments, I truly do think if the American electorate elects Sarah Palin in favor of re-electing Barrack Obama, they will certainly have the president they deserve, who certainly matches their intelligence level. It's just a shame is that we will be terribly effected by the downfall of the US if it happens.

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By lawrence (registered) - website | Posted November 26, 2010 at 12:46:10

Wow! Very open and up-front. Well said! All of it.

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By joejoe (anonymous) | Posted November 26, 2010 at 16:09:20

Some great points about our education system. I chatted to my kids teacher last week who told me 'the education system is geared towards girls'. Something to do with boys brains maturing slower on subjects like Maths and Sciences.

We definitely need to tweak the system (I don't think this I know it :) )

Thanks Kevin!

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By HamiltonFan (registered) | Posted November 27, 2010 at 19:15:57

Super read Kevin, has made me think that's for sure! Very nice!

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